Finding Your Inner Practice With Sarah Wessells

Author: Jackieb / Date: 14-08-2014 / Tag: Full Circle Yoga, Yoga Studio, Yoga Longmont, Longmont CO, Yoga Practice, Sarah Wessells /

Having taught and practiced yoga for years, I’ve come to realize that there is a little show-off kid that lives inside of me. She usually appears when I decide to get into a pose that my body can’t support. There’s no good reason for doing it but it’s possible that I could impress a few undiscerning people. However, that kind of thrill usually fades more quickly than my pulled muscles.

We often project images of how we would like to be seen even though we don’t believe it ourselves.  As we grow up, our little show-off kid becomes more discreet. Rarely do we see business men in meetings jumping up on tables shouting, “Look at me! Look at me! I’m smart and important!” but we’ve all been in situations that felt like the emotional equivalent.  Sometimes we can pull off the charade but that’s not the same as getting what we want. 

What I want and need is self-acceptance, but instead, I try to outsource the job, getting others to appreciate and praise me. Eventually I realize no matter how many people acknowledge me, I’m still missing something. That’s when I take the inevitable journey I’ve been postponing of going inward to look at myself in an honest light.

This journey shines light on those darker corners in my soul where some shadows have been hiding. No one likes to acknowledge when they’ve been acting prideful, jealous or egotistical, but that kind of honesty is the bitter pill that brings about healing.  I had been feeling insecure and was using my yoga practice to gain the kind of approval from others that I was withholding from myself.  Along the way I was jealous of yogies who had, what appeared to be, a more advanced practice and secretly judging others in order to feel more secure about myself. 

It’s humbling to admit that I’ve mistakenly attached my sense of worth to performance and that I’ve use Yoga of all things to do it. 

At times it can be so hard to accept that we are perfectly lovable and acceptable without doing anything to earn it.  For any number of reasons our egos think that we must earn our basic worth or that we must be more or less worthy than everyone else.  But as I continue with my human experiment I am confronted with the wisdom again and again that this just isn’t so.

We are all equally and perfectly lovable. No one is more or less special than anyone else and there’s nothing that we can do to change that.

Once I realign my spirit with that understanding, my life and my yoga practice regain a beautiful and graceful quality to them. I’ve already given myself the acceptance I needed rather than trying to earn it.
 

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